Trip to a Drive In

Drive in movies.  What a concept!  Even in the modern day, the drive in movie has a lot to offer.  You get 3 movies for $7.50, you get that cool retro feel to the experience, and you get privacy for you and your friend(s) to either heckle the film or make out in peace.  Then on top of that you get to tell all your friends the next day about how you, no for reals, got to go to a drive in movie.

A couple nights ago, I found myself at this particular drive in theater located east of St. Paul.  It's one of only 3 or so drive ins left in the state.  Both Danl and Evan have girlfriends that live not far from its location, so we'd been planning the event for a while.  My college best friend also lives within 5 minutes, but she was inconveniently at a cabin somewhere with family.  Luckily I have multiple friends at college, and coerced one who was in town to come.

Our movie schedule was District 9, The Ugly Truth, and The Taking of Pelham 123.  Clearly I was not there for the movie selection.  Drive ins seems much more about the social experience rather than what's playing, so it didn't matter that the only one of those films I was keen on seeing I already had.  I could see District 9 again, have a running commentary with Danl through The Ugly Truth, then doze off for Pelham.  That was the game plan.

I pulled in late with the people arriving from Northfield, and we were met with hellos and did-you-get-losts.  We busted out the snacks we'd procured at Kwik Trip at quarter movie snack prices, set up the backs of various cars for comfortable seating, and had some good pre-movie conversation. Pretty quickly the previews started.  There was only one, and I was very upset by this fact.  It was for Zombieland, so if you want my thoughts on it check out this post.  This was a longer trailer, but my impressions didn't change.

Evan and Annie (his GF) had taken up residence in the back of her truck, while Danl and Andrea (his GF) had gotten comfy in a pile-o-blankets in the back of her van.  I was left alone in the middle (my friend Sarah had gone to to the concessions stand) without a convenient place to sit in my car, and anyway that would've been awkward since I wasn't on a date with Sarah.  (Yes, it was a little awkward anyway.  No, not very much.)  I sidled on over to Andrea's van and "convinced" them they should let me and Sarah join them.  By which I mean they offered because they're nice.

District 9

This movie taught me some basic lessons about drive ins.

LESSON #1:  Bring a place to sit.  If you don't have a car with a back compartment to fit people into or you've brought more than 2 people who can sit in the front of your vehicle, bring chairs.  Nothing sucks more than sitting on a bunch of rocks.  Everyone's got lawn chairs lying

LESSON #2:  Bring bug-spray!  Even in the back of a van, the bugs were everywhere.  I got eaten alive, and this was with blankets covering much of my open skin.  I can't imagine what it would've been like if we hadn't had a vehicle covering 5 of our 6 sides.

LESSON #3:  It's fuckin' cold out there!  Blankets are awesome.  Vehicles with heating are awesomer.  Just don't freeze yourself to death as Evan and Annie almost did.  Lucky for them I'd thought ahead and brought plenty of warm covers, but even then it Evan complained about the temperature.

LESSON #4:  Snacks are delicious!  Everyone likes to eat snacks with their movies, and it's never been easier to sneak snacks into a theater than when you've got a whole car to do it with.  Stop for some at a gas station before heading out for the evening.  Even if you don't normally have snacks, this is 3 movies.  That's 2 more than most movies you'll go to in your life, and you'll probably end up hungry.  Don't forget pop if you're into that sort of thing, but be careful.  Caffeine can either keep you up through that third feature or keep you up way longer than you wanted to be up.  Plan accordingly.

Aside from that, it was fun to see this movie again.  I already reviewed it, but it's always interesting to hear second impressions.  The second time through was better in at least one way:  I could choose to not look at that part when Wikus is peeling off his fingernails, that part when he's chopping of fingers, and that part when he's pulling out teeth.  Seriously Wikus, you're gross.

I still think it's a great 20 minutes of documentary followed by 2 hours of mediocre action, and I still don't like the main character.  Marie's comments from last time stuck with me, though.  I do like the idea that this less than ordinary man is doing such extraordinary things.  The baby alien is also awesome; I don't remember if I mentioned that last time.

Here are some other people's impressions (paraphrased):

Sarah said she was hit by the fact that if aliens really did show up today, if the stuff in Disctrict 9 actually happened, that's exactly how people would react to it.  It pinpoints very well the bad parts of human nature and governments.

Danl thought it looked cool.

Andrea said "yeah, that was alright."  So did Evan and Annie.  I don't remember any more specific comments than that, which might say more than any specifics would.

The Ugly Truth

First a review:  imagine a standard romantic comedy.  Are the jokes good?  Yes?  Then your rom-com is not standard.  Tone them down until they just barely cover the 90 minute run time.  Is the acting good?  Yes?  Then your rom-com is not standard.  Tone it down until it's bearable, but both you and your date are watching the leads rather than listening to them.  Is the story good?  Yes?  Really?  Okay, you're shitting with me.  I asked you to imagine a standard romantic comedy.  Bring it all down a few notches on the quality scale, throw in a couple of stock characters (controlling girl, bad boy), set it in a slightly out of real life location (news room), and voila.  You get this.  If I ever have to give an example of a rom-com that was completely and utterly form fitting, this would be it.  It's like they've got a mold back there in those Hollywood buildings in Cali, and this one came straight out of the one labeled "summer romantic comedy".

Some of you may remember my comments on romantic comedies from my discussion of the The Invention of Lying trailer:

I've always secretly wanted a girlfriend who insists on going to see all sorts of bad romantic comedies so I have a reason to see them.

This still stands.  But wait!  I am not a hypocrite!  The problem is that mediocre romantic comedies are not the same thing as bad romantic comedies.  Bad rom-coms have silly magical gimmicks and scripts you can make fun of where mediocre ones have scripts that put you to sleep and take place in a fake-fake-fake version of the real world.  Bad rom-coms are a guilty pleasure.  Mediocre rom-coms are unpleasant.  There is a difference, and it's not always possible to tell the difference from preview alone.  Often you have to see a movie yourself before you can decide whether that was so bad you liked it or so bad you'd like to punch the director.

I'd been talking about the movie line up a few days earlier with Danl.  We both agreed that this movie looked bad.  I said that watching it was like part of the cost of admission, to which Danl agreed.  Then he recounted a horrible tale.  Apparently he'd had this same "sizing up the line up" conversation with Andrea, and this was the movie she'd gotten excited for.  NOOOOO!!  One of those girls!  The kind that likes formulaic rom-coms with no style!  He was dating a monster.

[Disclaimer:  Andrea is actually awesome.  Not all people who like formulaic romantic comedies are monsters.  Just most of them.]


It got worse.  The previews began for this movie (yay, more previews!), and Andrea exclaimed that she was excited for this one.  "What's it about?" asked Sarah, to which we explained.  "Oh, that sounds good!  I can't wait!"  Danl and I exchanged looks, then groans.  Andrea and Sarah turned to us.  "Now I know you guys like to run commentary through movies like this, but please don't.  We want to enjoy the movie," they said.  Danl and I groaned louder.

Needless to say, we didn't respect they're wishes.  We held off for a while, mostly because the material was so stale we had a hard time coming up with witty comments.  Instead, Danl and I dived into a game of "Spot The Actor".

Spot The Actor:  The Ugly Truth Edition

Alright, here's how you play. You see some actor that you sort of maybe recognize in the movie, but you can't quite place them.  Then everyone stops paying attention to the movie and starts thinking of where the crap it was that they've seen that person before.  And now you can play from home!  This way you don't even have to burn 90 minutes sitting through a bad movie to play.  Just give another movie + role that you've seen a person in, and see how many you can identify.  No IMDB, of course.  You don't have IMDB at a movie theater.  I'll have two sets of answers at the bottom:  one of my own, and one from IMDB.

Ready?

Who's that lady?  Where have you seen that guy before?

The female lead...?  She looks like she's playing, too.

And the male lead.  He was tough for me; I ended up having to use a movie that's not out yet.

Answers at the bottom of the post.  I recommend people comment their guesses, though.  I'm always curious both about who can recognize what actors, and what sorts of movies people have seen and remember.

The Taking of Pelham 123

Remember those molds I was talking about Hollywood having?  This one came out of the "Hostage Negotiation" one after they put the Denzel Washington clay into it.  They must have so much of that Denzel Washington clay... I bet they give it away to starving children.  Could probably feed all of Africa for a year with the amount they have lying around back there.

With nothing special happening on the screen I turned much of attention towards other things, namely trying to find a comfortable lying down position in the back of a van while sharing the space with 3 people.  If you ever find yourself in such a situation, let me save you some time and tell you how you get comfortable:  you don't.  Just sit up or shift around a lot, because there's nothing else you can hope to do effectively.  Maybe if we'd moved the car sideways and watched out a window...  No, no.  I'm done with that problem.  I'm done with it.

Sarah fell asleep as she is so prone to do.  Even through the gunfire, nothing wakes her up.  Danl and Andrea successfully refrained from any uncomfortable PDA.  Denzel did his thing, and John Travolta made watchable work of a meh script.  Evan and Annie did whatever they were doing in the other vehicle, and all was right in the world.

When the credits finally rolled in at around 2AM, we packed up and said our goodbyes.  It had been a good trip.  I had enjoyed it, at least.  Sometimes I think sitting through 3 movies, even good ones, sounds like torture, but every time I do it I come out having enjoyed myself.  The ride home was filled by of one of Evan's moderately entertaining monologues and decent music.  I dropped my fellow Northfieldians off, and turned in.

I'd do that again.  Remind me to keep tabs on how often their set of movies changes.

Epilogue

One of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite movies is set at a drive in.  It's Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.  Jim Carry and Kate Winslet are sitting in a car outside the fence of a drive in movie.  They're at this happy point in their relationship where it feels like they don't need anyone else; they're great by themselves.  There's two actors on the screen of the drive in, but because they haven't paid to get in they don't have sound.  To compensate, they're filling in the actor's dialogue themselves.  It's very adorable and funny; maybe the point is that this is more fun than watching a movie.  Maybe they like filling in their own words for infinitely less of a cost?  It makes me think about what it is that I like about movies.  Sometimes I'm in it for the story or the spectacle, but for the most part it's the people I'm with that make the film.  Bad movies become good when you've got a friend to make fun of them with.  Good movies become bad when you don't have anyone to talk to about them when you're done.  It's more important to have a good time than it is to respect the movie.  I'd much rather fill in a mute actor's lines with a friend while parked outside a drive in theater than watch a masterpiece of cinema while alone in my basement.

Spot The Actor Answer Keys

My answers:
Woman from pic 1:  couldn't place her.  I wanted to say some sort of Judd Apatow thing, but I think I'm wrong.
Man from pic 1:  Arrested Development prosecution lawyer.  I love this guy, man.  He's great.  We also suspected he was in the Waiting For Guffman documentaries.  I specifically remember him in A Mighty Wind.
Female lead:  couldn't place her, either.  I recall my parents saying she's a Grey's Anatomy alumni, though.
Male lead:  he's going to be in Gamer, and I think another stupid action movie I saw a preview for at District 9 the first time I saw it.  Yea, IMDB says it's called Law Abiding Citizen, and it looks just awful.  I'll have to review it now that I remember what it's called.

IMDB answers:
Woman from pic 1: Cheryl Hines.  She was apparently in Waitress and Along Came Polly.  I don't remember seeing much else from her bio.
Man from pic 1:  John Michael Higgins.  I was right on all counts.
Female lead:  Katherine Heigl.  Oh duh, she was in Knocked Up.  That's why she felt so at home in the romantic comedy lead position to me.  Grey's Anatomy seems to be the big thing for her.
Male lead:  Gerard Butler.  HOLY SHIT IT'S KING LEONIDAS!!!!1!  Hahahahaha, if I'd known that The Ugly Truth would've been great.  Just throw out another "THIS IS [blank]" joke every few minutes and Danl and I would've been set for the night.  Also in P.S. I Love You, which I may now need to see so that I can get those jokes in.